Pissed off.

Assalamualaikum ;(

Today i walked around the uia. For few reasons and matters. Alhamdulillah all done. All the way back i really cant wait to sit and write something in here.

I met few people, all part of past people. Great to meet them. Talking, sharing little story bcs of little time...

But...

I hate when people really higlight my past. Bcs.. past kot, why need to mention, higlight, aaa repeat again? I always labbel this kind of people are 'no life.' Yes, seriously if you really running your life, busy over many thing, i don't think that you can still remember the past. Or maybe only me to easy to forget? Hmph. But seriously please don't.

I got smashed by someone just now. Not just someone she's someone respected. She talked some jokes which really bring me down. I'm not sure why. Maybe im too sensitive this few days? Or maybe that word was really mean?

Thinking of that word really bring me to two situation. First, can i success in future? Second, i should prove something in future. But this is hard.

Next pissed off, does grade mean everything? Lecturer wont mingle with the low grade students? Em? Not mingle, keep in touch. If i have chance to be lecturer, i wont follow the stupid tradition of educator thinking. InshaAllah. Ah even the teacher, i wont buy that stupid thinking.

Next, please friend dont keep secret. Bcs one day you will expose it unconciously. Thats more hurt. Sebab tuuu, aku bukan penyimpan rahsia. Im kind of outspoken. Bcs why? Bcs i hate to betray people. For being betray it 100+++, suck. I cant trust people now. Who fault?

Yes i need the busy life to keep moving healthy. I missed the busy me. But i love the free me, except for JK part. Haihh.

I should find hobby. Maybe?

Kbai, nak sembam muka bawah bantal. Buat esak esak. Umi, rindu.... ;(

feel like writing tonight .

Assalamualaikum =)

so officially now, i'm no longer a busy girl. seriously it is totally different. kalau sebelum ni semua pon macam.....

every single minute tu macam penat, terisi sokmo, sekarang..... relax den bergando gando. bangun pagi pon dah tak payah awal awal pagi. tidor pon dah suka hati je nak lelap pukul bape. honestly this is uncool. hmph.

i do plan to change these all nonsense and unhealthy life. but, but....

okay should try harder. tetiba dah mengantok. haha. kbai! =)

Chinese

Assalamualaikum =)

I used to work with Chinese before. (padahal masa tulis ni belom resign lagi. and i use 'used' in the sentence. yes bcs i really want to go, in the less than 52 hrs kot.)

okay, then I'm having such a great work environment there. as I quite not ok with the too many supervision I love free way to do my work, that workplace give me lot of freedom to do y works. that  is why I love it damn much.

plus, I don't really have time to listen to people story like, I like this teacher, I don't like this principal and all, I like this kids didn't like this kid, being with them bring me a lot of what I want. they will gossips in Mandarin and translate few words to me. which.... I don't care abt the gossip, just say whatever you want. be a student and worker or teacher in the same time don't give me extra time to think about that nonsense.

But... after almost 8 months of working, I can't stand. ahaa, it not bcs I can't stand because of work, teachers, principal and what so ever, it just I should give the good service but look what I have done. taking 5 subjects in a sem which equal to 15 credit hour and part time teacher at that centre really kill me off. I'm too much busy until I don't have time to look after many things. I did few mistakes with the students paper and many more. which those are a big sin for me. yes, I hate myself when I did mistake.

now I want to move. but I wish I'm not ending up as the full time students with papers and assignment. I want to do something else. not yet figure out what was that. phew.

oh ya abt the title. study in this university really make me forget abt different races and culture. I get used to it. that's why I never look at them as Chinese that's why don't know this and that.

I hate to heard something like, 'there are Chinese or Indian or Malay, that is why bla bla bla"

I'm not being 1 Malaysia or what so ever here. but yes, why judge the different based on skin colour?

since I'm going to be a students again, maybe I will start writing again and again. hey blog now I guess you won't be bored anymore!

okbai! =)

move.

Assalamualaikum =)


I'm so happy with my previous life before. I like the children, I like my study mood and works, I like my love life, I like how's the family gathering function, I like to hanging out with friends around me, all those things I like them like a lot!

but seems slowly thing change, mood change, environment and situation change, I need to leave few things that i like. for good.

at this age, I don't know what had happen, I lost focus in the snap of finger, I be brave but end up turn to be rat that scared of cat, I being lovely but end up I sad like crazeeee. sigh


as for my next and next move to life, I should think about myself now. maybe this is the time I should walk alone, look at the Allah creation and appreciate them, find the good thing on me and use it, be more responsible, accept my weakness and control it. yes yes I should. I'm getting older and matured. hewh.

those up word seems pathetic. I do feel the same. But sometimes, the test, the sadness, the madness bring to few realization of life. isn't it?

I need a beach, sit near to it, look at how the children play and....... enjoy those life. Yes, I need that. But I wish I am at the high place and nobody can see me that smile, laugh and cry together with their mood.

snap!

okayh works in front of here. I should finish it first. kbai. kbai.

*a bit relief.

Alhamdulillah my E settled! =)

Assalamualaikum =)

hai. harini rasa nak update pasal e-day aku. ye lah nanti dah lama lama boleh lah baca buat kenangan. kalo tak tulis, mana nak ingat. kejap lagi start sem buat itu buat ini, all gone. masalahnya kena kee ceramah panjang sebab nak update?

so 1.2.2014 berlangsung lah hari e-day kita yang tak seberapa tu. but i'm so glad, since all just went very okk. tapi mana nak indah kalo event terjadi dengan baiknya tanpa ada bitter, sweet memory ye dak?

so..... all and all memang aku banyak diy buat sendiri. rambut den sekarang boleh kira pakai jari je. semua gugur ke bumi sepanjang preparation nih. kata moja, u think a lot. hahaha. kata aku, i must think since all need a wise plan and implementation.

pelamin aku betol betol siap pada jam 1 petang. pihak laki sampai 2 petang. apesal lambat? bunga kipas tu wa cakap lu, mencabar beb buat dia. aku dah la buat lipat sengsorang. ada lah dalam enam camtu kazen aku dengan adik aku tolong lipat. malam before tunang tu, aku tidor pukul 4 tak silap. kehmain dok siapkan kipas tu. yang lain lain banyak gilos bantuan mak uda aku, kazens, adik adik aku. yes lah tanpa family, i just nothing there. plan and cant be done, forevahh!

hantaran semua sangat sangat baik. all just like very much okk. sehari sebelum tu memang dah siap. except for the sudden hantaran orang bawak pagi tu. lintang pukang cari bunga, reben sama kan dengan theme of the day. nah nah macam rajin sikit nak apload gambar since kat uia nih internet laju habis. =)

pasal baju pulak. haha. aku memula dari aku beli lagi, aku nak kaler peach tudung and baju kaler mint green. okk jumpa semua ok. sekali masa try semua cakap thats not a peach, that is orange. okk. so berusaha lah cari peach jugak. sampai ke pengsan tak jumpa. beli lah coklat. okk dah ok, jahit lace semua siap. sekali.... masa sebelum hari tu aku sesaja la jalan kat billion. eh eh jumpa pulak peach nih. ahem, beli lah kan. tapi nak jahit lace tu sampai ke hari bertunang tak jahit jahit. masa tu dah pasrah okk pakai coklat jelah. but..... tiba tiba... masa ajak faiznor (kawan aku) naik bilik, one hour before pihak laki sampai, tetiba dia cakap, wey pakai la peach. baru match and great. okkk gwa dengan tak mandi lagi, kelam kabut amik lace, ukur, jahit. pehh. dalam 130 camtu siap jahit lace. kazen aku dah bising suruh pi mekap. mandi semua belom. okk, lintang pukang siap pasang lace, iron and.... sesiap mekap. just nice siap pakai tudung pihak laki pon sampai. tarik nafas lega sesaat. phew.

and then, makanan... aku memang tak amik port. umi dengan jengjiran yang membanting tulang. serious terharu tau dengan dorang. they are really something. berkorban sehabisnya. tengs tengs tengs. harap dapatlah balas jasa dorang nanti.

ok cukup lah kot. lama tak update cerita panjang panjang camni. ni pon pasal ada masa yang panjang sikit kat uia boleh laa update itu ini. ok lah. so dah start sem harini. my first class is likeeee..... er.

thanks for the wish and idea. doakan untuk next level pasni. doa kan tauu! i mean it friends. =)


nah gamba akhir penutup... again tengs a lot!!! tanpajiran jiran keluarga semua memang tak jai mende event nih. tengss! =)

Think ahead.

Assalamualaikum ;)

Hehe. Esok malam lepas kerja, dah nak balik perak. For CNY holidays as well as the day. Talking abt the day i caca merba to the max. Sampai moja tu gwa nampak sangat dia dah tak terlayan. Cam ni lahhh jaa. But you please adapt okk, this is me.

Before i go back, i need to finish up few things. Like... lesson plan for the next week, study plan for new sem since im going directly to uia after the holiday, teaching aid, activities for children, tudung, baju, make up things (ew), etc etc.

This is all where i need to think ahead. Quite ahead.

Im not coming on tuesday for work so my class matter i need to make sure all is done pretty well. My new semester, what need and not. Ahh.

But, hey i love to think. Think is doesnt matter. Sampai moja asyik pesan stop thinking too much. Hahaha. Tapi thinking and planing je aku suka. Part aku tak suka trap in dillemaa. Like what i thought is totally different with others or else. Susah habaq hangg!

Masa ni kawan kawan, moja, sedara mara akan tolong pening. Haha. Kasihann. But thats the sign of my love. I do love uols thats why i let u gaiz be the judge of my life decision. Heww.

Ok lah, almost 3am. My last sem result turn to be so.... alhamdulillah. Syukur sangat sangat. But i need more effort and improvement for the next sem. InshaAllah...

What else lama tak membebel camni sejak sejak ada new space for express the feeling. Myblog apps kat tab ni. Memang kamceng abis ah. Boleh tulis apaaa je. Since it so privacy.

But of course i want to update some of happiness here. Just ya, time.... ergh.

Wish me all the best okay? Byeee. (Bajet ada orang baca letew, haha). ;)

Malu pada-Nya

Assalamualaikum :)

This will be my first entry for 2014. I'm still finding the time to write reflection for 2013. Time.... they love me, but... we not meant to be together yet. ;(

Okk tak payah sedih sangat.

Alhamdulillah, my 2014 start as very good. I done all the projects and my statistics exam not turn so bad. Alhamdulillah.

But in academic is not merely achievement in life aite? As the other part of my life..... it still... i need more improvement. InshaAllah.

I just got the good news today. Which i couldn't say much besides than...

ALLAH, YOU NEVER FAILED TO GIVE WHAT I WANT. You are the best listener ever. You are with me in anytime i'm in need. Thank you Allah. :)

But, it's only me. Who always failed to love you same as i loved other people around me. Always failed to give the best to what you ask me to do in this world. And it become worst when ______________________. :(

Nikmat Allah yang mana lagi yang nak kita dustakan?

I have too many things to promise. I have too many things to improve. InshaAllah....

As for now, this coming event, inshaAllah, i wish everything going to be ok. Aminnn. ;)