struggling myself.

Assalamualaikum =)


first week orang tanya best ke sambung belaja? with full of confident i was like, "not bad" "macam undergraduate jek just banyak kerja"


and now if you asking me best ke tak, I seriously don't know what to answer.

best sebab each day learn new things, and refreshing the old thing inside my brain. best lagi sebab the brain can't stop, lepas keja penat  penat sambung pikir isu semasa, idea about this and that. ok la kan?

tapi..............

yang tak bestnya is bcs of me. I am really struggling. having the classmate which some of them are second year, psychology background, book worm type, critical thinking type are really really make me become a............. small girl like a pencil in a corner and worry of nothing!


somehow this thing are kind of extrinsic motivation for me. yaaa by looking at them, look at their knowledge and idea, I keep telling myself, "are you serious you want to relax at this time?" and seriously, even tengok selebriti bizz tu kejap pon aku dah macam cacing panas. it's not worth, i should look at my journal or whatever it is.


journal? oh seriously it's killing me. now i just realize. in the four year undergraduate study, i NEVER read and understand the whole journal. it just go through and pick up what is related. but now, that one is bog big no! must and must and must and must read thoroughly. so........... i'm still struggling with this.

thousand theories just come from this and that subjects. i really need time for understand and yaaa apply in coursework which is.......... WHY I CAN'T??? ;(

and of course, english. i'm not confident to talk in the class. very scared of many things! padahal kat sekolah (tempat kerja) aku memang takde bahasa lain. english ja laaa. but yaaa i still can't. help me out... =(


ok lah. macam banyak je luahan jiwa. pray for me pehliss! =)