November

Gilaaaa... november da sampai ke hujung which mean aku pon nak ke hujung sem dah niii. Talking abt work, too many! Ada few tu baru ada proposal je and never move.

I'm too scared i can't finish my things. But scared is just scared, effort?? Laut laut laut.

How i wish time can stop a while and love me as much i love it. Huhuhhu.

Ok laaa, saja nak meluah sepatah duaa.

Ni sejemput gambar convo, letak laa sikit kotkot takdan nak post cerita convo, ada laa jugakk gamba kat sini.

So 19 . 11 .2013 is my convocation day. Feeling??? Great. Others word is later.....

Nah gambaaa...

Alhamdulillah

Tak tau nak buat enty ni camana. Bcs it quite em hard to express.
But finally........

Tq Allahhh...

Kbai.

Your birthday is 15th November 2013.
I wish you will stay with me eternally.
Muahhhhh :)

dependent, independent

I'm in the middle of arranging the variable. seriously all works just like a spoiler. how to make all come together. ah at least two subject measure the same. but....

this is what really kill me now.

seriously, this what I really want to feel. but.. I'm afraid I can't cope. HAHA.

keep praying for me. it's quite hard. hmph.


okkk hard.... since it's hard, sometimes my dependent level is up.too much. sometimes I would rather kill myself bcs I see it worst for people around me. urgh.

but.....

since I can't really depent on anybody anymore, I look at my tough leg, and ya I must stand on my own leg and be strong.

be strong like seriously strong. For any probs that I have, I can't share anymore. just in case really need to share, I will just cry while driving.

ya driving is the perfect time to cry! bcs? macam aman je. so kadang kadang aku rasa macam gila gak. tengah drive pegi nangis. hahaha. but this just me. but I wish nothing bad will happen. Aminn.


so now I need a independent spirit. come to me lai.

I really hope I can finish what I just start. PRAY AND KEEP PRAY. Aminn.

tears..

Assalamualaikum =)

i don't know why..

i even cry in the cls in front of children bcs of silly thing.

i even cry in the cls bcs _______________________ .

i even cry on the road bcs sumpah silly...


and i cry in the musola bcs of this

it's a nostalgic day of a cry. I HATE IT.


but for sure there must be a reason of this cry.

kbai dah magrib.

ALHAMDULILLAH

Assalamualaikum =)


kadang kadang teringin tau rasa nak go through the date of birthday without no feeling. like sleep early on the date, bangun tengok phone ada few wishes (few jelaa ahkak bukan kakton pemes emes), then realize, eh 29 Oktober lah.

but it's a big cannot. since the date reach to 1-10, my feeling was like... hehehehe 28 hari lagi. 3-10, hehehe berapa hari lagi. keep counting. then while I'm busy, lupa lah sat. sekali the spelling date for the children this week is on 31-10 so mesti lew i risik risik 29 tu hari apa.

lagi over macam.... okay cantik, 29 tu hari Selasa. kelas habis awal. okkk boleh _______________________. haha.


dah dah. but the point is.... nothing much to be proud of for this year birthday. I'm still a me, there are only few accomplishments. serious few. tapi Alhamdulillahhhh... cukup lah few dari nothing. tak gitu?

i still have many aims. many ambitions. many wishlists in life. inshaALlah by the years go, I wish slowly all my dream can become true. Aminnnn...


- I want to get married.
- I want to finish what I am doing now (I need a pray and support and BIG effort from me)
- I want to own a business (restaurant?)
- I want to have a kindergarten centre (ni baru nih, baru je jadi impian. hehe)
- I want really give money to needy (maybe donator for any NGO?)
- I want to make my mom and dad and brothers and families feel proud of having me around
- I want to be a Muslimah. (this is very hard. Guide me friends. ;( )
- I want a DR.? Aminnn.


lists keep long and long and long. InshaAllahhh.... maybe I can't get all but for some of the important wishlists I wish Allah will granted it. Aminnn.


hehehehehe. I read a story of a girl send a thankful text to her parent during her birthday. I will do it this year. InshaAllah. why not to be so thankful?? having such a great umi and abi ad family. everytime I learnt about development process, adolescent growth and all, I feel very very great by having umi and abi who always compliment each other.

umi memang tyoe yang takot. itu tak boleh ini tak boleh. keep think of all of the consequences over everything. abi??? GO EXPLORE! He even asked me to cross the big road on my 6 years old. I still remember that time. How scared I am. but, i managed to cross it. and effect? Alhamdulillah I don't have those kind of cross road phobia like.... jiha. HAHAHA. sorry jiha masuk cerita ni pulak.

my development is not as hard as others. takde la sampai kena pukul dengan batang besi ke apa. sebab I really really dengar kata. tanya umi tak caya... HAHA. just on my _____________. itu jek payah sangat. arghh.


i ever do one of the very big crime (I counted it as big), and you know what they do? late at night, before I sleep, umi come and hug me. asked few questions gently. I answered and admitted all A - Z. then the next day, umi said, go say sorry to abi. that time was Abang Yasir wedding. hehehe. near to paklong house, I come near to abi, 'abi, akak mintak maap'. he hugged me like........................ I cried a lot. watched by few aunties and all like speechless. and until now, nobody even ask what had happen actually. haha.


we not kind of jiwa jiwa part. takde lah kan nak, 'akak sayang umi' I NEVER SAY THAT FACE TO FACE. but i know they know. plus they also never say things like that. aaaa not romantic i guess. but, i know they love me. no doubt. kan kan? sebab tu lah awak, i'm not romantic type person. tapi sweet, betol tak? camtu gak family aku. eh all boys kot, camana la nak romantic. but sweet... yes it is.


at this age, I still have them in the very perfect health, nothing much I could say beside, ALHAMDULILLAHH. Allah keep everything around me forever health. the mind, soul, physical and everything perfect as your perfect creation in this earth. with this, You increased our Ibadah to You. Amin.


em entry ni macam ke laut merah ke apa ni. melalut. tapi serious this is what i feel. I MISSED MY FAMILY. hmph.


alaa muka tahun ni menjadi jadi ah tua dia. sakit mata aku tengok muka sendiri. muka moja tangkap masa makan tadi lagi lahhh. ahhh!

eh eh tapi syukur Allah, biar nampak tua, tapi sempurna ciptaan-Mu padaku. Alhamdulillahhh...

ok la sampai sini dulu. malam ni malas nak buat keja. isk isk. apa dah jadi ni????? hmph.


okbai. Thank you for reading. =)

satu je nak cakap

Assalamualaikum =)


muka gwa lately macam...............................

kalo dulu fanatic beb bukak wall fb sendiri. usha picture sendiri. dah kenapa?

tapi sekarang............... MASYAALLAHHHH!!!


seriously no more time for skin care ke, body care ke apa. ahhh!


kbai esok exam.

struggling myself.

Assalamualaikum =)


first week orang tanya best ke sambung belaja? with full of confident i was like, "not bad" "macam undergraduate jek just banyak kerja"


and now if you asking me best ke tak, I seriously don't know what to answer.

best sebab each day learn new things, and refreshing the old thing inside my brain. best lagi sebab the brain can't stop, lepas keja penat  penat sambung pikir isu semasa, idea about this and that. ok la kan?

tapi..............

yang tak bestnya is bcs of me. I am really struggling. having the classmate which some of them are second year, psychology background, book worm type, critical thinking type are really really make me become a............. small girl like a pencil in a corner and worry of nothing!


somehow this thing are kind of extrinsic motivation for me. yaaa by looking at them, look at their knowledge and idea, I keep telling myself, "are you serious you want to relax at this time?" and seriously, even tengok selebriti bizz tu kejap pon aku dah macam cacing panas. it's not worth, i should look at my journal or whatever it is.


journal? oh seriously it's killing me. now i just realize. in the four year undergraduate study, i NEVER read and understand the whole journal. it just go through and pick up what is related. but now, that one is bog big no! must and must and must and must read thoroughly. so........... i'm still struggling with this.

thousand theories just come from this and that subjects. i really need time for understand and yaaa apply in coursework which is.......... WHY I CAN'T??? ;(

and of course, english. i'm not confident to talk in the class. very scared of many things! padahal kat sekolah (tempat kerja) aku memang takde bahasa lain. english ja laaa. but yaaa i still can't. help me out... =(


ok lah. macam banyak je luahan jiwa. pray for me pehliss! =)

great weekend.

Assalamualaikum =)


kadang - kadang pikir duduk rumah ni memang la tak stady. asyik busy itu ini. sembang, main dengan auni, masak masak makan, tapi..... bila aku imagine aku masuk hostel balik, eh boleh gila. mana nak dapat basuh baju free hari hari. mana nak dapat ada tv, ada budak kecik nakal, ada macik huru hara, ada nenek bising-bising, ahhh sumpah dull gila hidup aku nanti.

oh lupa ada makanan free. muahahaha.


tapi.... macam macam mana pon, aku dah decide nak further kann. just in case tak boleh siap keja sebab busy sangat dengan hiburan hiburan semua ni, makee terpaksa lah kann. but this one later will think about it. =)


so this weekend, full of bless. kelas tuition cancel. mula mula macam nak roger kengkawan ajak lepak. tapi memandangkan..... penat lah, nak gak rasa berehat puas puas so.... CANCEL.

just kelua sikit sikit jek dengan family, bawak auni kecik tu jalan jalan taman. hemak hemak sangat khann kiteww nih.

"dulu dulu dulu ku......" fevret lagu auni. haha.

what with this number two? -auni asking herself. hahaha.

brader goreng pisang kat taman tu selamber jek, "awak kahwin umur berapa? muda lagi dah ada anak...' giteewww!

dia kalo aku dengar jek suara auni tengah halfway baca journal boleh tutup laptop lelaju gik jenguk dia buat apaa. dah nama dia nampak aunty ecah, memang tambah huru hara. selagi aku turun, cahhh cahhh. cahh cahh. so......

gomol gomol sedas. ajak makan kee, main kee, tetiba malam. penattt... ahhh! =(

tapinya aku malas betol laa nak membaca journal ni. tak sampai seru lagi nih.. huwah! bukak jek mengantok. alahai alahai.... =(


ok lah nak pegi iron baju. nak makan. nak....... kena gak baca nih, kang meninggal aku kena sesah dengan lecturer. tajuk tak finalize lagikk. erghh ;(


kbai! =)



p/s: dah latu marah marah. forgive me k? =(

hati manis

Assalamualaikum =)

# entry macam nak muntah sikit. loya loya tak yah baca la kot. kang bluwerkk! =p

si hati manis yang rajin. haha. I'm glad for having you around me. he read through all the Mara things and said this and that. pastu everytime mengeluh he was like.... "NAK SENANG KENA SUSAH!" okay okay. btw, i post the letter already. =)

=)

IWY! that's it. =)

exactly.....

Assalamualaikum =)


this is what exactly i want. tired but.... i feel it awesome!

ah cuma kadang kadang tu... biasa lah.

now i need adjustment. yaaa need it!


apa tu, esok weekend dah start.

takpe la nak kacau ahad, takpe la nak kacau Isnin, tapi esok.....

tolong laa bagi aku rehat lebih sikit.

baju sebakul tak basuh, kerja menimbun dah ni. bukak pon belom. ahh!


so please people.....


yeyeye weekend ni umi dengan abi datang.

kbai penat. =(

relaxing Saturday.

Assalamualaikum =)


hey thereeee! how was your day? Alhamdulillah finally i get one day that i can lying down on the bed, clean up this messy room (not yet fold the baju in the big bag, ahhh), and..... spend few times with family. alhamdulillahhh...

tired? yes it is. but doesn't matter. i enjoy this. ecececeh, belom start kelas enjoy ah. will see after this what happen.

today too many fb friend's getting married ah. congrates too all. when iz our turn? keep praying ya! *talking to myself. haha.


ok ok. motip entry ni bukan pasal nak touching touching pasal orang kawen. motip dia iz....


about my current work. weh, sayang sangat sangat kat kerja sekarang. mana boleh tak sayang, dia macam half of my work pleasure is there.

best dapat jumpa all little cute kids everyday, dapat marah marah suka hati kalo geram nakal sangat, dapat bereksperimen dengan teaching method, content, no body care. as long as the last objectives is achieved. paling aku suka sebab dia about long time planning then it makes my day getting short. in one blink of eyes suddenly its Saturday.

just again, the salary is quite small. huuu.

but never mind ah. sikit pon kalo reti jaga duit inshaAllah, cukuppp. -kata dila, alya. hehe.


tapi.......... seems like i'm having little difficulties later when my class start. ahh tak nak pikir. kalau boleh memang nak dua dua. nak keja nak belaja. best! just the distance is quite far. energy? inshaAllah boleh be moreeee discipline.

pray for me! =)


ok la. dorang ajak keluar makan pulak. baru nak bebel panjang lagi. kbai. kbai. =)

the entry later lah if got time. muahahaha. =)

nah http://ellyinwonderland.blogspot.com/2013/08/kisah-dolu2.html


ni blog kak elly. aku suka baca sebab dia ringan and so inspired.

i wish one day my life would be like her. and i wish one day she will be moreee closer to Allah. aminnn.


eh pegi lah klik link tu. awak tu pon pegi klik link tu and read. ada motip i asked u to read. for sureee! mih mih.


kbai!

baby are you down down down down down?

Assalamualaikum

YES!

very down. deeeeep down.

i really wish this one is one of my ending career, but......

'it could be the thing that we loved most, is not good for us, only Allah know'

so... in the middle of fighting with my inner me.

REDHA, ACCEPT. as simple as the word, as easy as to say. but not easy to do.


inshaAllahhh, i'm still fighting and accepting everything now. Allah helps me.... hmph


i don't know this is the right choice or not. now i'm a middle of arranging my further study plan. i wish this is the right choice. BISMILLAHHH......  =)

consideration mood.

Assalamualaikum =)

kalau laa semua rambut boleh berwarna putih in a second while we think, i guess all of my hair now become white. seriously, aku suka sangat berfikir. kadang kadang tah mende mende tah. imaginasi tak nak ringan ringan pulak. nak pikir yang worst sajee, or yang good sajee. tak good lah best. takde in the middle suma tu.

sobab tu la den suko bona tengok prof muhaya tu, sebab at least masa otak aku kosong nak berpikir, aku ada limitation kat situ.


now in the middle of arranging of my future. it's not easy. plus, i think this is the first time I need to decide and take the risk and effect of my decision. sebelum ni alhamdulillah, all went very well. abis SPM, matrik, abis matrik uia, takde la nak pikir pikir. ada sekali jela dulu. between the maktab and matrik. masa tu kite kan mata nak standard je, nak jadi budak u jek. tak nak der maktab maktab. sekarang........... lipat lipat surat ptptn sambil pikir, BILA NAK MULA BAYAR NI? hmph.


seriously, me now in a  really dilemma. sometimes feel like do like this is better, sometimes feel like nahh i want that, sometimes don't feel like that one is needed. ahhhhh....


so so so...... ASK ALLAH. tapi tu ah maleh yo bergnado, camano? hmphh.

ok lah, saja nak luah perasaan. kbai! =)

nah amik lah gamba macik yang nampak tuo dalam gamba ni. HAHA. 

Salam Aidilfitri 2013

Assalamualaikum =)


hew hew since ada orang marah blog ni tak berupdate, kite pon jadi semangat lah sikit nak update. dia macam nak update. but since dah cerita itu ini dengan orang sekeliling, rasa rajin nak update tu dah takde. mihmih. tapi demi orang yang dah boring asyik tengok previous title je bila bukak blog, ok ok i sacrifice my finger and brain to write. ahaaa, sacrifice sangat!


raya tahun ni? a very bit different. dah la tak dapat duit raya. dah la kena prepare different answer. dah bertahun tahun lamanya aku pegang skema jawapan 'belom habis belaja lagi' sekarang dah tuka 'dah habis belaja dah. baru jeee.' lepas tu ada soalan kedua yang berpeluh, 'bila nak kawen??' ahem!

tahun ni raya kl dulu. since kat kampung all the cousins decided to go back on second hari raya, so kite sama sama lah meriah kan kampung raya kedua dan seterusnyaa.

so pagi raya tu, lain sikit. tak boleh pegi semayang raya. so, orang sibuk kelentang kelentung dengan siap siap aku sedap terbongkang lagi. tetiba sedar dah sunyi rumah. okk bangun turun bawah. ada maksu je. 'ecah air takdeee.....' 'WHAT??'

okkk siap siap kan apa yang nak pakai, kemas rumah kejap, sidai baju kejap, zasss pegi rumah amai (cousin). siap mandi masuk rumah, 'alaaaaa agenda salam salam dah lepas' so lagi laa langsung tak dan nak kecek duit raya. okbai!

then biasa lah siap siap pegi paya jaras, makanan mamak yang super sedap. capati, patri, kari ayam! ahhhh. mabeles. since aku dengan family aku sampai dulu, sempat aku lantak tiga pinggan baru yang lain lain sampai. dorang sampai aku join makan lagi.... benda sedap bukan hari hari boleh dapat. =)

lepas tu balik kampungg. hahaha semua dah godang dah gemok. sendat doh kereta. tapi itu yang best. sambil kutuk kutuk sambil rasa suasana bersama. bukan hari hari nak naik kereta ramai ramai camni! 'akak, ko patutnya tak naik dengan kiteorang. kahwin la cepat. best sikit ada family baru...' 'errrrrr... takde orang nak,nak buek cano?' HAHA.

raya kedua pegi penang. BEST! makan makan makan. sini la pon nak rasa dodol buatan tangan pacik pacik aku. nyummmm! malam tu nak dekat pukul 1 lebih gak baru sampai. kot. tah tak ingat. hehe.

raya ketiga paling bermakna. MUAHAHAHAHA. tq awak sudi datang with families. can't wait to be the part of your family. hehe. lagi bermakna kalau.....................................

raya keempat raya sana sini kejap, pegi wedding, pegi hospital, balik manjung...... =)

raya kelima, YEYEYEYE dapat jumpa kawan kawan lama. sekarang tak cerita pasal kami jek, cerita pasal husband, pasal anak, pasal macam macam lahhh. aku masa ni diam jelaaa. kunyah kunyah kuih raya. nak cakap apa lagi, kan? sob sob. takpee, Allah maha tahu. Aminn..

raya keenam, nothing much. tadi kawan datang. umi masak laksa lagi. beli satay. beli durian. i got all the foods i craving for. thank you umi and abi. =)

raya ketujuh, esok laaa dah nak balik. then lusa kerja. hmmmph.


harini dah start dah discussion serious dengan umi. NAK SAMBUNG BELAJAR KE TAK? macam mana nak cakap eh?? serious tak tauuu.... tak nak pikir. tapi dah tak lama. sigh.

ok lah. lengkap tak cerita raya ni? hahaha. tahun depan nak raya berdua kalau boleh. tapi tak tau lah kannn... kuasa Allah semua ni. Mohon dipermudahkan, dipercepatkan. Aminnn. ;)

okbai! =)



*malas nak bubuh caption gamba dah. paham paham jela. =)

it's a Sunday mannn!

Assalamualaikum =)


gila sangat sangat bangun dah pukul 1. malu ada jugak. dah la duduk rumah nenek. and normally on Sunday I finished all the house chores works. like wash all towels, clean up the rooms, swept and mop the floor, all lahh. tapi harini since macik aku tido sini, so..... susah la kan nak merajin rajin sangat. one thing is, aku kalo nak buat keja masa aku sorang sorang je. kalo ada ramai orang aku malas.


gloomy Sunday after all. dah bangun lewat, bangun pulak kena tunggu bilik air sebab dorang pon baru bangun jugak. teh guilty feeling bangun lambat tu buat aku rasa macam tak selesa nak buat itu ini.

then keluar rumah, cuci kereta, buang daun daun kering, sidai baju. masuk dorang dah kelua pegi kedai beli barang. see... won't ask me for take them pon. tacing 2 mins. but small matter, small matters! chilx.


then dah takde orang aku start laa buat semua semua benda yang tak siap. mop lantai pasang sarung kusyen semua tuu, then baru nak baring 1 min dorang dah balik. okkkk.


tegok tengok sikit, btw something happen last night which decrease my guilty feeling ah not just guilty hate, stress blah blah. aku siap plan nak lari rumah dah harini. kah kah. sebab ni jugak la aku tak sahur. jangan tanya aku apa rasa dia. memang separa nyawa dah rasa masa pukul 7 tadi. fuhh.


then masuk bilik, baring jap. talking with umi sambil tahan air mata. selesai selesai sikit benda dengan moja. aku dah sesiap nak pegi gombak. nenek suruh gik kedai pulak. sampai kedai, macik aku lagi satu nak datang buke sama pulak. so so......

cancel plan. NAK AWE! =(


em em all and all everything was just fine. i really really in unbalance emotion. seriously. apesal tah!!! =(

kbai! nak terawih berjemaah kat rumah jek.


p/s: for people hurt more bcs of me, SOORY VERY MUCH! =(

unhappy

Assalamualaikum


if i have money right now, i will go far from people. very farrrr.....

ah susah la nak cakap. sekarang nak cerita kat orang pon dah takde yang free untuk dengar. so......


simpan jelaa. but seriously i want go very far from others. included family.



such a s#*^ evening. don't have mood et all. kbai! =(

makanan

Assalamualaikum =)

ekarang kan kalo tengok bloglist aku semua blog kakak kaka yang dah kawin, yang ada anak dua ke tiga ke satu. dah tak minat dah wey nak baca cerita bujang bujang. balik balik penat kerja, study,sentap dengan kawan, luahan bf, dan lain lain.

cerita kakak kakak ni best sikit sebab aku boleh la imagine rumah aku camana, nak handle family camana, blah blah blah. pastu mesti awak cakap dalam hati, "patut lah nak kawen sokmo!' muahahaha.

hey the time come already la. i'm big enough, matured enough. gitewww! haha.


so bulan puasa tahun ni, kind of different thing to me. i stay with nenek. emm..

talking about the food. seriously aku takde mood langsung nak demand demand. dia macam makan ja la apa yang ada. asal kenyang. makanan dia kadang kadang tu, ayam masak merah je ke, daging kicap je ke, pon dah sedap sangat dah.

when i'm in first year degree, i will cry like ___________ if no nasi tomato at bazaar in front of me. second year degree, everyday want new food. third year, last year...... tak ingat tapi macam nak makanan sedap jek hari hari. sekarang......

aku macam kalo terliur apa apa, aku nak masak sendiri. sebab puas hati puas makan. meme la tak reti sangat masak tuuu. taoi nak gak buat sendiri.

tapi tomyam ah, tak jumpa lagi resipi yang sedap. hmphh.


ok la. esok kerja. see ya! bye.

wrong direction

Assalamualaikum =)

got few free minutes before berbuke. so want to write something which had happen few days ago. on first Ramadhan.

i went to UOA building for an interview. the staff said it's nearer to Monorail Raja Chulan. i ever went to UOA before from KLCC. but if i from BTR that's quite far lah to go from KLCC station. so just gamble try from Monorail Raja Chulan.


arrived there, i iz like mahcik mahcik sikit, i prefer to ask around if i don't know the place. arrived there i ask the guard,'where the uoa building?' he went to the counter ask his friend then come to me give the direction. and i just follow his direction.

walk and walk and walk and walk. no UOA pon! it's first day fasting okay. thirsty like carzy okay time nih. then i asked another guard in front of  'i don't remember the name' building. then he said blahblahblah.

ok i follow his direction again. until i can't walk any more. not bcs very tired la, but bcs i see too much car, no more possible building dah. then a guy stop by. why? i'm lost. what u looking for? UOA building. he point to the KLCC which around 15 minutes behind me, i had passed it before. he said, walk to there and UOA behind it.

i already passed it! ok ok ok.

walk again to the back. then blahblahblah, find it. dah la pegi for nothing. penat kaki den yo!


ok ok. balik tu aku pikir apesal aku kena camni? then i remembered something.

last few days from this day, i'm at lrt station. the train almost arrive. one foreigner asked me 'where is hang tuah station?' i said.... 'oh that another side. u cross the road, then ride the train.' he go down and i don't know what happen.

PADAHAL ITU MASJID JAMEK. LAGI DUA STATION DAH HANG TUAH. gila kejam aku! dah laaa dia foreigner. kesian sungguh sungguh.


so i'm deserve that! Allah balas cash. huhuhu.


moral: DON'T HELP OTHERS IF YOU DON'T KNOW ESPECIALLY ABOUT ROAD. got it?

kbai!


(apa apa la aku tulis. tunggu nak buke kan. paham paham kan jela.)

salam Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum =)


nothing much to be told on this Ramadhan. i enjoyed everything around me. the people, the food, the time, the tarawikh, the tadarus, etc etc. love it!

gonna end my jobless title this Monday. wish the job is not suck et all. aminnn. oh ya, it's a cikgu tadika.

keep improve our ibadah bcs it such a good and special month for us. celeb this well people. don't waste it.

doa as much as we can. Allah will listen to us, and granted it. inshaAllah if that's belong to us and good for us. Alllah is the Most Knowing. inshaAllahh.

see ya! =)

with auni. anak sedara sepupu kot panggil dia. =)

done interview at adni

Assalamualaikum =)

fuh fuh. lega tak terkata.

aku dah la tak prepare much. pergi pon mata mengantok mengantok. nasib la sampai ke destinasi dengan baik.


sampai tu, ustat mana tah sambut. kebetulan la dia lalu situ. takde la sebab ustaz nak sambut aku kann. aku bukan ustazah pilihan. masa tengok ustat ni aku dah macam... wah, 'healthy'nya environment dia.

once jejak je kaki dalam pagar tu rasa macam lain. rasa macam tak macam kat luar. oh senang kata rasa dia macam masa jejak kaki kat Maahad. hewhew. apesal bukan uia? uia tu dia so so jek. sama jela masuk uia dengan masuk mid valley.


ok then went to the office. again i saw lot of maahad's type girl. rendah diri tau rasa. ite je biasa biasa. tapi mujur la pagi tadi masa selongkar selongkar bag tu jumpa stokin amik pastu pakai. kalo tak.... lagi kerdil rasa diri. hehe.

pastu isi borang hijau. serius gwa tak prepare pasal islamic aspect sangat. bajet hebat lettew kan tak prepare dah. so dalam tu banyak ah dia suruh isi pasal pasal agama. nebesh nebesh tau ite. paling tak leh blah, dia tanya buku islamik apa yang aku baca and motivate me? HAHA

aku masa ni dok imagine buku buku kat bilik dila. haha. tapi wajib ah tak ingat kan. pastu gugel. nasib tau isi form tu sorang sorang. gugel tapi tetiba cuak, buat dia tanya apa aku paham dari buku tu nak gebang apa? so aku pon jujur. aku tulis, solusi, cerita dari syurga. ini jela yang aku ingat aku penah baca. haha.


ok then finish the form went to the principal ofis. principal dia macam watak 'ibu' madam materneli kat censerve tuu. warming but firm on certain issue. okkk ketaq lutut habaq ang. interviewed by two people, principal dia and quality assurance kot kalo tak silap. ok yang ni not just normal question, kind of tough question gak. kak rehan kata, dia sembang sembang je. aku rasa.... THIS IS NOT SEMBANG! takot wey!

then after that, went to the one of the bilik. preparation for micro-teaching. AH SUDAHHH!

tapi yang ni aku ada gugel gugel sikit malam tadi. tapi aku dah prepare tajuk aku, sekali dia bagi buku suruh cari dalam tu. amboiii.

masa ni aku mula tak ingat apa apa makna pon dalam buku tu. pastu bbm kakziha suruh cari kan makna. muahahaha. thanks kakziha. haha.

ok lepas prepare masuk kelas.


okkkk..... budak budak dia masya-Allah.... english tu mother tongue okayy! aku ni cakap english pon once in a month. mau tak kecut kaki. tapi be cool. nasib lah. i had deliver my best. ada rezeki inshaAllahhh....


aku suka environment dia. memang ah tak match dengan aku, yet. tapi maybe ni jalan Allah bagi. aku kan salu nak berubah tapi tak senang. and maybe this is the way. inshaAllahh....


so wish me have the rezeki for it. Aminn. =)

kerja oh kerja.

Assalamualaikum =)


kerja memang banyak. ko apply je mesti ada yang call for interview. tapi kerja kerja tu tak semua ok. tak semua match dengan cara kita. so.....


as i aware of this now, tomorrow i'm going back to my field, which is teaching. HAHA. hari tu suruh jadi cikgu ganti kemain sombong. pandang hujung mata jek. tapi now..... ok ok sireh pulang ke ganggang dah aku ni.

so esok interview kat adni school. jauh senanya dari cheras ni. ni aku tengah pikir pikir camana ni. tapi nanti jela pikir. as for now, just do my best for interview. fuhh.

BISMILLAHHH.....


eh ite an jadi cikgu english. auwww! bi pon terbarai barai. camana la nanti.

WISH ME LUCK YA! =)

LRT thought

Assalamualaikum =)


aku memang suka naik LRT. dulu masa dengan ex aku, kalo dah bosan dating, aku ajak dia naik LRT. jap gik dia cakap, "nak buat apa?" aku cakap saja saja. lama tak naik. rindu! pastu takde la bodoh bodoh naik pastu turun, so pegi la klcc jap beli roti boy ke apa apa. asal dapat naik LRT.

dia macam bangga wey. ko tengok kat jalan raya kereta tak dapat gerak sebab sesak. aku dapat gerakkk... lepas tu, kan ada kat atas, dapat la tengok aktiviti manusia. dapat tengok building satu satu. eh best! just yang tak best bila bersesak dengan jejantans. tu je tak best. tambah yang bau mashammm! euw.


and every time aku naik LRT aku akan plan macam macam. nak update entry cam ni. nak buat cam tu. tapi bila balik salunya malas. dia macam dah penat. TAPI... pada harini, aku nak gak tulis.

first of all, aku nak update pasal pengalaman kerja kat UTS hari tu. aku keja dalam..... emm 11 hari kot. tak dapat gaji pon, berenti dalam paksa dan rela.

ok seriously keja kat situ very best! feeling dia macam ko mula mula masuk U. mingle up with new friends. learn new things. ada assessment bagai. memang superbb! paling best bila time lunch sembang itu ini, dig to the ground pasal someone punya life. eh memang best! background orang pon lain lain. ada yang buat dip, ada yang sesah tulang dari lepas SPM cari keja, ada yang dah pegi sana sini, ada yang dah kawen, ada yang dah bercerai. best doh! serius.

tapi kind of culture shock for me. sebab tetiba dekat sini ramai lelaki. masa first day tu, half laki half pompuan. seram la kann. aku da la kat edu tu tak nampak laki sangat. so memula tu i iz very malu! sampaikan neves dia, orang panggil muka dah blushing. tapi slowly ok lah. bila dah kena satu group dengan lelaki, buat role-play, practise semua dengan dorang slowly all just ok.


dekat sana belaja macam macam. VERY PRECIOUS i told you. belaja objection handling (this is difficult), belaja professional and comprehensive presentation, belaja support member member, belaja nervous macam gila, eh macam macam! sebab tu aku kata v1ery best. paling best belaja kena tahan emosi bila kena marah. bcs it seems like to normal lah nak kena marah semua tu. so, best!

tapi... tu lah, as i mentioned in my previous entry, conventional insurance tak boleh nak jual. plus majorities of ulama said it's haram. so.....

inshaAllah... rezeki yang tak syubhah ada kat mana mana. =)


masa nak pergi tu, daramatik habis. mula mula masa lunch, aku lari laju laju dah. cari jeny lepak kat starbuck the weld practise nak cakap kat Sashi (team leader) camana. wait, pagi tu, which is 1 July 2013, we just got the new team, new motivational spirit, new cubicle, new friends, all new lah. masa tu goyah gila rasa nak bereti tu. tapi kenangkan reason aku ni part of Muslim prinsip... so... think wise lah.

then before masuk, dah la sejam lunch hour tu dok praktis jek. praktis sekali luah perasaan lah. tak makan, tak solat. ingat lepas hantar surat boleh blah teros. then before masuk dengan lapar lapar nih, call lah umi. umi support, umi cakap 'Allah maha tahu'.

so teros lah masuk, gigil lutut jumpa Sashi, then Sashi cakap, why? aku cakap cakap, then dia angguk. pastu suruh duduk keja dulu. HUKOLOHHHHH!! amik kau dah ah lapa, tak semayang lagi, eh memang tak tenteram lah kann...

aku duduk, buat call sikit, toilet, call tiolet, call toilet. last sekali dah nak dekat pukul 4 time tu, aku pandang semua tengah buat keja, aku angkut beg dalam loker teros blah. muahahaha.

ada benda kat sini tak boleh cerita ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.


then turun bawah, hujan lebat bak ang. aku redah jugak sampai menara am bank. naik surau, semayang nangis nangis. drama kan? hahaha. nasib orang tak ramai. tapi aku tunggu saviour takde pon. penipu je lebih cerita cerita melayu tu semua.


dah kering air mata, aku pon balik.... NENEK SUPRISE, ECAH BALIK AWAL! haha. nenek tanya apesal? aku pon cerita lahhh....


dan since then, hidup baru aku sebagai jobless person begin.


the end.


cerita lagi satu nanti lah cerita. aku pon bosan taip panjang panjang. orang yang baca mesti lagi bosan. ye dak?

kbai!

a night

Assalamualaikum =)


malam ni dapat la cover few parts yang bajet bajet akan ditanya masa interview nanti.

to tell the truth, seriously i can't imagine myself be in the situation where i need to teach the babies. mana tak babies umur budak budak permata ni 1 - 4 years old.

sedangkan kalo kawen pon aku dah plan nak lambat lambat sikit anak tu. tetiba......

REZEKI ALLAH. maybe hikmah dia bagi aku reti sikit jaga budak. kot.

lagi pon, kan be with kids is one of the way to reduce stress. so... I CAN DO IT! cewahh.


awak nampak tak kite tak main main? sekarang pukul 2 tau, stady lagi. sedap sedap jek nak cakap orang main main. orang main main atas benda yang tak serius la. for this serius matter i will do my best. just trust me.

sedey ah. every time u tired, mesti benda benda tak best pon jadi besar. padahal orang nak cerita benda lain yang lagi best. wuwwuwuwuw!

ah tak sedih pon. kalau sayang kena la tinggal tinggalkan. ewahh!


so malam ni dah cover sikit sikit pasal kementerian. pasal permata tu benda apa. pasal development stage.

betol la benda ni bagos. new thing in education system. tetiba rasa nak bersemangat lebih. rasa nak.....


snap finger snap finger.


FOKUS INTERVIEW NI DULU BOLEH TAK?? errr.


lepas ni ko tengok la aku jadi puteri umno. muahaha. aku dah nampak dah aku punya program nanti ada kak mah tu. mohon aku tak ikot fesyen rambut dia dah. hewhew.

but honestly, this such a good idea. ya prevention better then cure. melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya. bla bla blaaa...


okbai!

rungsing!

Assalamualaikum =)


rungsing smiley senyum jugak kan? haha. kite tak nak ah orang yang singgah blog kite stress. tambah tambah orang tu... nanti dia dah la penat keja, penat layan kerenah i yang tiap hari ada kejutan tak terkejut, pastu singgah sini jadi stress. tak nak ah cam tu. ( YES YOU MY KAIN PELIKAT MAN ;p)


rungsing wey harini.

mula mula tunggu result tak kelua kelua. ok takpe lagi. lepas tu tunggu surat spp yang tak sampai sampai lagi. ada bangang jugak aku dengan surat ni. dah aku letak tempat interveiw putrajaya apesal la aku gik letak alamat rumah untuk surat tu? eii omey tau bengap dia ni!

dah tu sekarang aku macam pak gad plaza see hoy chan. bunyi orang kat lua intai-intai. mana pos laju ni??? ;(


lagi rungsing next week kan dah nak puasa. then i don't have work yet. camana nak shopping raya? camana nak seronok seronok sikit? alaaaaa..... ;(


ok ok bateri laptop da nak habis. nak pegi makan.

eiiii  cam ni pon nak buat entry eh? nampak tak loser yang bosan nak mampos kat sini? nak ikot nenek ng makuda gik jalan shopping malas. nak tunggu posmen punya pasal. isk.

kbai!


RUNGSING LAGI SATU SEBAB RESULT TAK KELUA KELUA! huwa.....

preparation process must begin now!

Assalamualaikum =)


be a jobless is such a boring day. sehari macam setahun. boring bapak! makan tak yah cakap. lepas makan, makan lagi. ei geram tau! malam ni before tido neves nak naik penimbang. isk.


so... preparation. bukan preparation kawen lew! takde orang nak kitee lagi. isk isk. lagi pon ni tengah menaiki tangga pelan pelan. ahemm!

ni preparation ke arah rezeki yang lebih baik. inshaAllahh....

again alhamdulillah....

tak sangka main klik klik itu hari ada makna. masa tu aku tengah merempan tak dapat keja lagi. pastu aku bising bising dalam bilik. pastu tak silap aku jeny kot, dia kata ni haa ada jawatan guru, cer ko apply. aku po mood angin bengang bengang tu pon klik saja laa. then, pegi website keja yang lain klik keja lain pulak.

but seriously tak sangka, ini adalah tawaran jadi cikgu. so fast! i'm not even ready yet. but with this i will try for do my best. maybe Allah dengar doa aku hari hari nak duit, nak berenti mintak duit kat umi dengan abi, nak kawen cepat. LOL! =p


but so guilty senanya dekat kawan kawan. serius bukan saja nak senyap senyap masa apply ni. as i mentioned above, aku klik main main jek. tak perasan pon ini jawatan apa. kalau aku tauini serius wajib aku gik tau korang. sorry sorry sorry. but please wish me luck friends! I need u gaiz punya pray and support too. pelisss.... ;(


then so umi sekarang, since aku duduk sini hari hari dia kol. kang phone rumah ke phone rumah tak payah bayar. so memang hari hari la dia kol sembang sejam dua. tadi dia kol, "umi nak amik cuti lah bawak akak pegi putrajaya". err. tapi aku tak bagi. inshaAllah aku reti pegi sendiri. dah la selasa. kalo umi cuti isnin, selasa lagi, isn't it waste? umi kena simpan cuti untuk aku convo nanti. kot la hari isnin... (MINTAK SIMPANG. MINTAK SIMPANG. HAHA)


tadi tanya kak nad and kak ann (senior) pasal interview dorang. tak nak panjang pulak notes kak nad bagi. ok ok esok i start study bersungguh sungguh. inshaAllahhh... esok gak abi nak datang. ingat kalo dia lama and free nak ajak dia buat site visit kejap. putrajaya la. kite tak hafal jalan. isk! ;(

ok lah. wish me luck gaiz! pelis pelis.... see ya! byeee =)

perancangan Allah...

Assalamualaikum =)


hi chuols! ok tak payah buat buat mood ceria. broken buat cara broken. bcs it's sound bapok while I'm pretending happy. err.

so..... tajuk dah macam orang kena kawen paksa dah kan. hahaha. bukan bukan. ini pasal.... aaaa pasal.....

ok last entry told you that i want to write about the job experiences kan? so....

will write it. of course bcs it's a great moment and very good experience. will not just keep it alone, will share just....

I'M ALREADY RESIGN.


apa ni kata best, kata awesome, kata blah blah blah sekali resign. apa ni? apa ni? macam penipu jek.....

ok ok cam ni lah. betol lah. awesome betol, great betol, semua betol but...... IT'S A CONVENTIONAL INSURANCE. what's wrong with conventional?

read this link. it's a new experience and new knowledge for me too. so I want u gaiz do read and understand this too. bcs it's not wasted pon malah dapat laa tambah tambah ilmu secara indirect. BACA TAU! tetiba nak caps lock. haha.


okay, so..... now i'm jobless. esok nak start pegu job hunter lagi. wish me luck ya!!

pasal kerjaa tu.... nanti lah ehh.

now broken mood. isk isk. ;(

tak sabar

very very very not enough time. bangun, kerja, balik praktis, tidor. ULANG......

BUT this is what i really want to feel. so ALHAMDULILLAH...


tak sabar nak buat entry pasal kerja ni....

tunggu eh?

ada eh orang tunggu? hahaha.

sukati lah.

kbai!

ALONE?

Penny: why you sit here? why don't you go and watch a movie?
Sheldon: watch movie? you mean alone?
Penny: ya, why not?
Sheldon: what if I'm choke with popcorn? who gonna help me?
Penny: don't order a popcorn then.
Sheldon: movie without popcorn? are you ______? urgh.


Penny: I don't get you. why don't you go to restaurant and sitting there?
Sheldon: You mean alone?
Penny: Ya, why not?
Sheldon: How can I sure when I'm leaving for a toilet, nobody touch my food?
Penny : ###***####


ya, me too! i hate for doing anything alone. but sometimes we need it for make we think ahead about us, future, creator, etc etc. plus, not so much option left when finished the study.

adaptinggg! hehehe.

gangs! all just fall apart. :(

partner in love and crime. muehehehehe! 

it's quite rare for me to do things alone bcs of u gaiz! ;( MISS OVERNIGHT. 

____________________________________________. IMY. =(

p/s: aku tak boleh tidor dah ni. apa laa nasib esok time training. mati la mengantokk. isk. ;(

first day at UTS telemarketer executive.

Assalamualaikum =)

syukur everything was went well. ALHAMDULILLAH ALLAH, aku dapat pegi balik jumpa kawan - kawan yang best! overall all just ok!

nak cerita banyak sangat penat dah ni. betol betol nak tido je ni rasa dia.

basically tadi sampai tu while waiting for the process, dok jap dalam uts punya kelas. then, siap all process IC and all, semua pegi kat maple suite masuk conference room dia for training.

briefing from HR, ahem dengar pasal elaun apa suma tuu, rambang sikit mata i nampak duit hikhik, then petang recruitment team punya briefing. tak bosan best gilaaa, sebab trainer dia tak la pokpek sorang sorang. so.... BEST AH!

dah la, nak tido. pedih mata. esok nak bangun awal. nak mencari rezeki lagi. halah halahh poyo habis habis tau. haha.

em em all and all hopefully this not wasted for me to try. Aminnn.


okbai!

meet my new friends! hehe. =) jap takde gamba aku kena ada lagi satu. haha

six pack gitewww! tunggu laa sebulan keja sini habis six pack tu semua aku burn! tunggu... 

i need to climb that stairs

another things that i hate while be at a free state is STALKING. ya by having almost 24 hours in a bed with no commitment and life (urgh), this stalking-thing is destroyed my mind a lot! A LOT! AAAAA LOTTTTT!


there is a girl, who i can't say much besides that, SHE IS SO LUCKY!


born in the rich family + smart (not just smart, it's very smart) + having a super duper great friends + never alone + got prizes all the day + delicious food + very pretty + romantic partner + etc + etc. name all the greatest thing you want, she have it.....


so how come meyh i am not jealous? F jealous. sapa tak nak hidup cam tu kan?

BUT....

percaya aturan Allahh... percaya Qada' dan Qadar Allah.... syukur atas apa kita ada. --------- >>>> this is what i keep telling myself over and over when me in unstable feel toward this.


life is full of choice. make a effort on the choices you have! effort + doa + effort + doa + effort + doa. inshaAllah with Allah bless we can get it. all in our hand and His will.

as it for me?

i'm not naturally born to have those kinds of greatest things. BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL TO ALLAH.

in front of me, there are few stairs. I need to choose a stair which lead to the life that I want. It's so high! with patience, with effort, with support, with Allah will, I may climb them one-by-one.


Ya Allah, make this happen for me. THIS? my life aim's.

Bismillah..... =)

nasi goreng

Assalamualaikum =)


ahme nasi goreng pon nak buat entry kee? kecoh lah kecohh. =p


these two days I just found out yang nasi goreng tu sedap! serius baru found out, after almost 24 years living in this earth. haha.

selama ni, nasi goreng ni makanan yang hilangkan mood aku kat rumah.

"umi malam ni masak apa?"
"nasi goreng ok?"
"tinggalkan sikit nasi putih, nanti akak cari lauk sendiri"


kalau pergi kedai makan, nasi putih, tomyam. ini jek. tak penah tukar. tetambah kat awe tu. sampai kalo aku call, "tomyam dengan nasi putih eh kak?" okayy.

tapi semalam, I mean Ahad, masa makan malam aku dengan ragu ragu dan takot tak sedap nya pegi la order nasi goreng daging merah, tak nak sayur, tak nak bawang goreng. sayur and bawang goreng are seriously my enemy!

then the nasi sampai, test one, WOW!
test two, SEDAP RUPANYA NASI GORENG NIIII......


and today, i variety the order by change to nasi goreng kampung. pun sedap jugak. ni baru habis makan. sedap sungguh2 sedappp!

ah, gonna missed awe for sure. ;(

so lepas ni boleh laa tukar fevret baru. tapi umi cakap dee tu gems sebab nasi goreng. and me?

say no to lelemaks!!!!

gonna start my work in two days.
esok unpack barang rumah nenek.
esok itu dan ini.


i need a busy life for make a day and night moving fast. ko tengok jela, kalo aku free entry pon bosan bosan je. tak yah kau je rasa bosan nak baca, aku nak taip pon BOSANNN!

okbai!


p/s: takde ah gamba nasi goreng. moja cakap (dia tiru harith iskandar cakap) mentally ill people je yang snap snap gambar before makan. FINE!

pengalaman interview telemarkerter BSN.

Assalamualaikum =)

dari entry entry lepas lagi, aku ada cerita how i'm desperately need job. why? bcs of thousand reason. one of it..... I REST TOO LONG!

memang lah belaja ni penat (AHEM), tapi dia tak la penat sangat. so calculate the times I studied since kindergarten, it's been 19 years hokayy! omaigadd that's too long.

so let me out of that track for a while. inshaAllah, ada rezeki nak sambung lagi. why? bcs no matter how bored the student life is, but told ya it's moreee exciting. learn new thing, improve this and that, blah blah blah. DAMN BEST! pray for me for that. Aminnn


okk, mana cerita pengalaman ni? here i start.

since i'm desperately need job, so every day i scrolled at mudah.my, jobstreet.com, jobdb.com for find a work. scrolled apply, scrolled apply. then got few interviews and mana mana yang itew rasa best je iteww pegi. tapi most of the jobs yang aku pegi tu, yang mana aku rasa best tu laa, semua nak transkrip. mana nak ada transkrip lagi, baru abis kannn. result final sem tak dapat lagi. hmph. hmph.


so, till last of my job hunter, i went to BSN TELEMARKETING interview. halaaa hat ada kat mudah hari hari tuu. aku pon tak tau la dia nak bape banyak pekerja. haha.

before pegi tu, was was habis. nak pegi ke tak? search here and there. apa telemarketer ni? seronok ke tak? tahan ke aku? asal dia nak reramai ni? keja ni betol ke tak? blahblahblahh..

sampai kan pagi before pegi tu pon, aku dah rasa rasa tak nak pegi. but lucky, perancangan Allah tu baik, dan ya best for me, end up after submit my research on Friday, i went to jalan raja chulan for interview. ALONE! motip highlight alone? macam nak tunjuk indi indi gituu. haha

damn not so easy for walk here and there alone. want to eat but ya alone, cancel it. want to buy things at the pasar nearer to monorail, alone... ahh next time lah. BUT, the greatest thing for be alone is..... I GOT MANY NEW FRIENDS! what u expect kan? dah sorang sorang tu tegor jela sapa sapa yang baik hati. and ya they pretty nice!

interview conducted in group. as for my group we have 6 people. i can't remember the interviewer name's but she's Chinese and VERY WELCOMING! look at her style of talking, briefing, interviewing and all makes me feel like, PERHAPS THIS IS WHAT I WANT. cewahh

aku memang nak cari keja yang work environment dia very supportive, energetic, etc etc. memang nak! so.... no wonder la aku excited kan?

interview questions are so easy. but easy pon prepare lah kan. tak yah nak hebat sangat datang bawak sardin buat macam company sendiri. mihmihmih. but ya don't worry too much lah, just again be prepare.

and.... along the interview, dia banyak suruh kita tanya tau. dorang dorang yang very berpengalaman ni memang tahu la apa nak tanya. aku.... em em aku tanya pasal work location jek. haha.

masa tanya tu, ada la sorang ni tanya....

"how much the basic that you will give us?"
"it's depends on the product and o the experience you have. blahblahblah"

so subjective kan jawapan dia? masa ni aku cuak dah. kot laa depends dia tu sampai 500 je basic mati lah akuuu... but no worry. masa dah diterima tu, she called us back one-by-one for confirm and accept us then that time she stated the basic. mine.... em em 1500. dia kata fresh graduate. me....

yah that was fine. nak expect apa sangat kan, baru sangat sangat habis belaja. cuba lah dulu mana mana kerja pon. aku memang bajet asal sampai 1500 pon ok dah tuu.. just me need to struggle more for get the commission. inshaAllahh...

so ni jela kot cerita pengalaman interview. nanti aku cerita pengalaman kerja pulak. hehe.

ada ke yang baca? takpeee. at least memory for me later. hehe.

picture? don't have. takkan pegi sorang sorang nak bergambo bagai. malu lah dohh!

okbai! =)

WALL

this is a wall.
pretty wall i could say.
i ever imagine to have a house which covered by this kind of wall.
the brick price for this wall?
naaahhh, i never want to know.
it's my imagination. isn't me said that before?


the wall is the wall.
look, touch, take picture with it, inspired it, etc etc.

but behind the wall who know's what inside?


then now, I am that wall.
and...........


i wish everything inside me flow smoothly.
smooth.......
as smooth as ____________.




finished my research paper and all. wish for having time to write abt that.

okbai.

current me

Assalamualaikum =)


I AM REALLY IN THE WORST SITUATION. what worst?

got to many things to think of. boleh beruban semua rambut rambut atas kepala if things just in this way now.

the unfinish reearch nya.
the ___________
the ___________
the  barang barang lagi
the ___________
the ___________

and things getting worst when there is no more people I close with to talk to. (APASAL BI CAM HARAM NIH? GRRR)

but Allah tu sungguh sungguh maha penyayang. maha mengetahui. maha mengasihi.

at least I have Him to talk to in pray, to cry with in sujud.
at least I have umi who always call. (actually she knows nothing. but I know she suspecting something. sebab tu rajin call
at least i have m2s to be with me in tears and laugh. thanks for always be with me!
at least I have roommates always listen to my crazy voice and story. haha. (syukur lah, even we fall apart in this sem, sebab busy, at the end we still having tome together.)
at least I have friends for eating sometimes. (how i wish I could tell everything! but I can't. hmph)

sungguh syukur sangat....

and I am pretty sure, Allah won't let me going through the tough matters more than I can face.INSHAALLAH.

so everything just in control. just ya.......... __________________________

i missed the empty brain of me! haha. empty brain and the full of joys. =)

okbai!

feel like writing

Assalamualaikum =)


ya feel like writing tu kau paham paham jela. feel + like + writing. feeling writing, memang celoteh panjang lebar. jap rindu celoteh sampai lebamm. muahaha.


apa ni merapu saja? apa ni? FEEL LIKE WRITING khenn. so.....

tak nak baca pangkah lah. tak payah kutuk kata itew tulis panjang bajet hot. gwa tak suruh lu klik baca pon der. hukolohhhh...

okeh dah. FEEL LIKE WRITING yang elok elok sikit. ahemm.


ok tadi time lipat lipat baju yang dah kalah bukit tabur belakang uia tu, aku dengar la prof muhaya islam itu indah tu. ini macam ceramah yang best gwa cakap lu. aku pon bukan minat sangat nak dengar ceramah (astagfirullah) tapi yang ni memang best. lagi best dari UAI. UAI tu best tapi kite dop pahang sangak ah die kecek gape. huduhhh nanang. booo booo.


so topik apa aku tak ingat. tapi relate to dress code, attire. em em em.

'delete system about what people say. keep thinking on what you want (for positive side ah)'

'kita nak dengar apa orang cakap kee, nak ikut apa Allah cakap?'

'yada yada yada...'

alaaa banyak lah yang best best ayat dia. buat otak aku macam dijentik jentik untuk pikir.


AKU SUSAH LAA SANGAT SANGAT NAK MOVE ON FOR THIS PART!

i ever try. istiqamah sat saja pastu biasa balik. aku tak dak la tahap yang seksi keluar bijik mata tuu. tapi ya selagi tak betul betul menutup aurat, seksi la jugak orang cakappp.

so now i am wondering to the bone. ada eh to the bone? ah belasah!

apa eh nak tulis kat sini. malas.


POKOKNYA............. NAK PAKAI CAMANA YANG ELOK TUUUU?? CAMANA? CAMANA?

still searching. aku tak expect aku tetiba pakai jubah hitam semua tu, cumanya aku nak ke arah kebaikan.

I'm still searching. identity complexity at this age? so left behind ah you ni. -piaget ke erikson said. haha.


so.... wish to find the suits me well later. kbai.

nah tengok lah gamba kakak kakak tebiat bergwiyomi. haha. I LOVE YOU GAIZ DAMN MUCH! =)

hembus hembus nafas.

Assalamualaikum =)


ambik kau betol betol tak sempat tidor. tu la omey omey sangat malas buat awal awal slide je pon kononnn.. sekali.... stuck sana sini campur salah makan, baru tau rasa....


aku dah siap baca orang tweet 'jumaat mubarak' jadi 'jumaat muratabak' kih kih. kelip kelip mata otak aku pikir apesal jumaat murtabak? sekali kali ke sepuluh baru perasan, MUBARAK LA OIH!

jap lagi aku doa dapat baca slides elok elok ja la.

ala nak tulis pon dah mengantok. okbai nak mandi.

WISH ME LUCK JA LA EH!

first year entry

Assalamualaikum =)


dah bulan June. dah nak dekat 11 June. which the last day we can stay at the hostel. sad? VERY LA HOIH!

aku ingat lagi....

JAP ENTRY NI ENTRY IMBAS MEMORI. MUNGKIN PANJANG KOT. TAK NAK BACA PANGKAH BELAH KANAN TU TAU.


aku ingat lagi first year dulu, aku sembang dengan kakak tim kot. 'untunglaa akak dah nak habis...' 'alaa ko pon nanti habis gak. kejap jek, tak yah risau'

kejap? damn long. dari orang baru nak kawen, laa ni hat yang kawen tu dah dua anak. tapi tak kisah pon. I GOT LOT OF SWEETS, BITTERS, SOURS, etc etc.

first year dulu aku 42kg jek. makan sehari sekali dah cukup. siap beli pil kuning nak gemok baq ang! laaa ni.... ahem ahem!

first year dulu aku mana buas. abis abis lepak jalan tar. next week lagi jalan tar lagi. jauh sikit TS. aktiviti.... shopping, main bowling, wayang. sampai aku nak muntah keluar darah dah buat benda ni semua. sebab tu sekarang tak payah ajak aku tengok wayang, bcs that's not my thing dah. i'm too old for that stuff. pastu aku marah dengan orang hat bayaq mahal mahal sebab nak makan. makan je punnn. kenyang hilang! sekarang...... FOOD LOVES ME, AND I LOVE IT TOO!

first year dulu.... konflik kawan kawan tu banyakkkk sangat! tak tau laa apa yang aku jaki sangat dengan kawan kawan aku. padahal kawan kawan sama je dari dulu sampai sekarang. but maybe we just know each other and the adaptation starts from conflict and learning. kot. hehe. BUT NOW I'M GLAD FOR HAVING ALL OF THEM! muahhhh.

first year dulu bf aku lain. talk abt different thing, share different interest, hanging out at different places, fighting for different reasons, etc etc. dia tak penah jadi cuka pon dalam hidup aku. even dah ex, i learn many things from him. ada yang baik ada yang buruk. semua tuu proses pembesaran aku... thank you for that. =) (awak jangan jeles eh. entry awak hari hari ada. kah kah kah)

first year dulu aku skema gila viva. skema yang sampai.... I MEMORIZED ALL MY NOTES! no joke, i did it for real. sebab tu boleh la nak merasa DL sekejapp. tapi lama lama..... makin berusia makin malas. kah kah.

first year dulu, aku merapu kat blog lain. gila followers masa tu. gila outspoken yer jugak. macam mana aku boleh rajin nak tengok manusia and write abt them. banyak gila masa aku dulu.... tapi best. i know many different people back then. ahh many things lah i learn from blogging. sebab tu, berbelog lah korang.... IT HELPS A LOT. helps apa? try dulu....

apa lagi eh?? emm emm. haa FACEBOOK. first year dulu, aku hot stuff kat fb. muahahaha. perasan gila! mana tak hot stuff entry nak bajet bajet je. so bukan hot stuff ah maksudnya itu attention seeker. aku eh tu dulu? gila geli ingat balik. haha.


sapa pon aku sebelum ni, memalukan kee, membanggakan kee, aku bersyukur atas semua peluang. (MACAM DAPAT AWARD PULAK HAA.)  be a cheesy girl, spicy girl, black pepper girl, onion pon penah, salty, sweety, etc etc. apa macam describe abang burn nih? LAPA LAGI! isk.

macam bodoh ada jugak bila pikir balik. but ya.... THANKS ALLAH FOR ALL OF THAT EXPERIENCES! the exploration phase u let me to going through is such a very great chances i ever had.

explore pastu failed pastu belaja sesuatu lepas tu grown up a little bit and keep moving forward. AHH INDAH SANGAT HIDUP! syukur sangat sangat.


macam mana nak habiskan entry ni? macam tak jumpa titik berenti.

tapi sedih takde gambar. semua gone with the previous laptop. isk! imagine sendiri la ehh. kbai! =)

OMAIGADDD!

Assalamualaikum =)


last three weeks i was busy with my settle down everything for my internship so i ignored this.

last two weeks i was busy with case presentation so i ignored this.

last week i was busy with finish up all the documentations so i ignored this.

then when i ready to open this.... I WAS F SHOCK!

jom tengok sama sama

nampak? chapter 1 new, baru sampai problem statements? adududududu....

yang lama dah siap but it turns to be not so ok kot. so....

LET'S DIE TOGETHER TO FINISH THEM!

kbai!

syukur Allah

Assalamualaikum =)


susah nak tap entry nih. aku dah masuk kali ke enam dah ni aku taip delete taip delete.

cuma Alhamdulillah...

'mungkin ku rapuh dalam langkah, kadang tak setia kepadamu, namun cinta dalam jiwa hanya untuk-Mu'

'andai bisa ku mengulang, waktu hilang dan terbuang, andai bisa perbaiki segala yang terjadi....'


that's it!

Bismillah....


p/s: hoih serius ni entry yang paling susah. berapa juta kali taip delete. taip delete. haha.

gambar SS

tau gambar SS tu apa? gambar Shok Sendiri. apa yang dorang suka buat tu selca. self-camera. as it for this one aku memang tak minat. sebab camera itew bb jew tak yah nak selca selca sangat ah. sebab lepas selca tengok buruk gamba teros satu hari bad mood. tapi itew suka web cam laptop. halaaa, itew mana mampu nak ada samsung tuuu. web cam jela ada. isk isk.

dah tak payah gedik sangat nak menangis bagai. jom tengok gamba SS. alaa senanya aku boring dengar dorang critics case presentation ni. so..... apdate ah blog. idea takde. gamba je ada. so jemput ah tengok ehh...

ini pagi before case presentation. neves bhai time nih. jap jap gugel apa yang nak cakap. duduk kejap sebu perut pikir eh kenapa itu, kenapa ini... lebih kurang ah.

ini aku ng jiha after presentation. relief oih rasa dia. alhamdulillah all just went well. =)

ini malam lepas my case presentation day. kena nangis dulu okay! awak kejam, FINE! haha. =p

all and all, everything is almost end. i wish all going well later. works please be nice to me. inshaAllahh.. =)

saya suka rumah sebab....

1- bangun lambat, pastu ada orang jemput makan.

2- makanan tak pernah terputus.

3- macam takde pressure apa. BAHAGIA. SUKA HATI.

4- ada orang tolong sidaikan baju, lipatkan baju.

5- kerja aku refill air dalam botol je. mudah!

6- dapat bercakap doplohpatjam.

7- dapat buli kazen, adik. oh best!

TAPI TAK TAU BILA NAK MULA BUAT KEJA. baru taip satu word, dengar mesyuarat lantai ke dapur ke rasa teringin nak join. tengok harini haram tak buat apa. ah! ;(

okbai.

and it's finish.

Assalamualaikum =)


hoih busy tahu tak lately? memang tak sempat nak tulis tulis blog dah... bangun pagi, tetiba dah malam. mana tengah dia aku pon tak jumpa.

"rajin kan cikgu ada blog apa suma tuu?"
"memang ah. best apa."
"hot boleh lahh...."

ahem. dik camni lah. mula mula cikgu tulis blog, ah tak best ah cikgu ni kan diary. aku tulis blog bukan nak suruh orang baca pon. just nak ada a place that i can write and paste any pictures yang sweet sweet untuk letak sekali. serius takde orang baca pon blog ni. plus me don't care pon. cukup la ada mr m2s stalker tetap hari hari. muahaha. =p

then why put the link at the twitter?

tahukah awak dulu twitter tu tempat aku membebel sorang sorang. a quiet place which i can say anything sampai penat. sekarang pon cam tu jugak. but since ada orang dah benci iteww, kena ah bubuh penapis banyak banyak before tuit. which that is so cruel for me!

yela kau bayangkan dulu kau bebas merdeka kini tidak lagi. tapi salah siapa?? SENDIRI! okbai. hahaha. nanti lah dah banyak sangat orang benci aku buat account baru. bukan kumpul haters oih, tapi 'kisah pulak aku orang nak benci benci ni?' kan?


tapi serius oh. sebelum ni aku rasa aku tak penah ada hater/s. semorang sayang aku. haktuihhh! haha. tah tapi serius aku tak boleh pikir sorang pon yang benci aku. kalau ada pon adik aku. benci sebab aku kan suka bolot kasih sayang. kah kah. ala tu pon ko benci aku, esok aku benci ko. pastu minum cool blog sesama. cerita benci tamat. sekaranggg.....

tapi ok la tu. at least aku nampak ah apesal and belajar something. ok la tu. tapi itew sedih tau. alaa macam kan orang yang tak suka itew tu perfect angat. ei geram tau! hentak hentak kaki macam nak kena panampo tu. lol.

takpelaa. tak payah ah pikir. pegi la jalan. hates me, so what? kan? kan? aku tak sempurna, kau tak sempurna, tiada siapa yang sempurna, hanya Allah. so ya, called me drama queen or what i don't care. tapi memang kite pandai berlakon pon. kan? kan?


dengan post je entry ni, aku dah tak nak amik tau dah pasal orang yang benci and spread those things about me everywhere. but yes i admit i did tweet those words. but you should know well why i tweeted them. i'm in that class, and u guys are so freak at that time. come to the front of the class, hold the 'cikgu' title, control the class, then you can feel it. that word harsh? then how bout you gaiz at that moment? sweet? cute? harsh too? THINK BABEH, THINKK. takkan orang sopan santun iteww tweet bodoh pulak kan? kan? tak logik!


ok lahh. apa ni entry panjang panjang pasal haters je. mesti tak best kan nak baca dilain hari. tapi dah taip. sayang pulak tak post. nasib ah sapasuruh baca. haha. EH AWAK KENA BACA! wajib. nanti kite nak buat ujian. haha.


oklah. then the practical finish. presentation, submission, write up blah blah in front of me! wish me all well ya.

okbai! ;)

can't say much just....

hurting me. hurting you. sick, cry, stress, etc etc.
give up? i ever feel it.
sorry for it.
but your way to tell them to me, teach me (err?),
i can't say much besides....

ya ILY! (no kidding, i mean it) 

so esok is Saturday and esok is sekolah. merentas desa. alahai, alahai....

i'm going through such a hectic plus awesome week i could say. detik detik akhir kat sekolah dah terasa terngiang nih.

 lepas ni tak dapat nak marah orang dah. HAHA. lepas ni susah nak dapat pandangan hormat dari all cute, naughty, semak, etc etc students dah. lepas ni..... dah tak boleh pakai name tag dah. lepas ni..... susah dah nak dengar ASSALAMUALAIKUM CIKGU. oh all just F awesome and..... SURE I WILL CRY WHEN THE DAY COME! tapi itew kan salunya malu nak tacing tacing. mesti iteww gelak gelak kot. haha. 

anyway, macam ni lah hidup kan. bertemu, berpisah. life must go on. lepas ni bayakkk lagi benda lain yang nak kena hadapi.

PALING PENTING FINAL YEAR SUBMISSION! argh.

okbai. (hilang mood teros. hilang mood manjew manjew jeww!) -eh geli betol? ;p

no caption name it by your own. =)

p/s: cer tengok title. CANT SAY MUCH SANGAT KHENNN! haha.

and bcs i am nobody

it's damn painful. 

SEEN but no replied.

i'm not expecting much just 'ok' would be enough.

but......

100 plus

'cikgu nak handy plus...'
'hah? 100 plus? MANA ADA!'
handy plus cikgu, handy plus'

ohhh.

tahukah rasa puasa di harini adalah sangat hazab? tadi pagi dah ah tak bangun sahor. penat oih penat!

kejap lagi ada relief lagi sampai balik pulak tuu. alahai alahai. ;(


mood? sakit. dan can't function well. all i want now is just ya MOOD FOR DOING MY WORKS!


nak buka sup tulang. sup tulang, belacan, nasi putih, air coke! peh. kecuq ayaq liuq da laa ni. haha.


cepatlah pukul 7. cepatlahhh..... isk isk.

ni pon nak update kat blog eh? haha. bukan nak update ni senanya. lain. lain. tapi.... haha

okbai! ;(



i still love you. ;(

kotor ke bersih ?

semalam aku tidor aku mimpi dapat isi minyak free sampai melimpah limpah. bangun kelam kabut tengok jam, yes 9PM. semayang turun tunggu result.

bapak lambat! yang mana mana tah keluar dulu. tunggu sampai cemuih habis naik atas contunue buat kerja yang banyak nak mampos ni. tengok jam pukul 2.

eh siapa menang ni ??

scroll fb dah semua dp hitam. scroll TL semua tulis blackout. why ? why ?

so baca sepatah dua kata (ni bacaan random saja lah), i guess still people not satisfy with the result. so do i.

semalam tengok kat jalan out of 100 supporters, BN supporters only 10 another 90 is PAS, KEADILAN.

scroll kat fb jugak, especially IIUM students all of them are PR supporters.

blah blah blah. i could say yes semalam sebelum hari mengundi aku tak nampak BN people langsung.


taoi harini, aku bangun lambat so pergi mengundi sorang sorang, sampai kat sekolah tu aku nampak merata rata BN supporters. dah mana datang dorang ni?

merata rata tu masih tak boleh lawan PR supporters lah jugak. or i could say balance kot.

tapi pokoknya dari mata aku yang kecik pada hari ahad, sebab ahad hari tidor, the result is still shocking but could be right. NAMPAK KAH PERKATAAN COULD BE tu? maknanya could be right or not.


tapi uols, anggap saja lah itu betol. biar kalo depa men tipu pon, depa besaq mana sangat. kita ada Allah pencipta langit dan bumi. depa setakat jaga malaysia ja, only small part of this earth. tipu sorang saja dah dosa, tipu beribu orang.... LAGI BANYAK DOSA.

and as they always think they are capable for tanggung dosa dosa tu, biarkan!!! tak yah nak protes, tak yah nak kata apa-apa.

tau dak, dalam permainan, lagi banyak orang respond, lagi syok permainan depa. it's like hang mengorat awek, awek tu rejek rejek, tak ka lagi geram dan syok nak takel? sama jugak dengan BN. lagi kita protes lagi banyak point depa nak itu ini. so......


REDHA dan REDHA dan REDHA.

kita dah pilih dah kalah lagi nak buat camana? actually it's not kalah pon cuma belom lagi. so as it for now, kalo kita dok kata kita pembangkang lagi pon dapat apa? aku bukan nak suruh ampaa pi lompat parti. 5tahun lagi, kalo BN buat jahanam yes kita pangkah PR lagi. dah sekarang depa dah menang, takpaa kita kerjasama dengan depa.

after all we are talking about our country not our pride! dah kalo asyik bangkang bangkang bilanya nak maju malaysia ni? dia nak up new tour, orang bangkang. padahal dia pon bukan bodoh macam budak kecik, dia wajib ada motive bila dia build up something. so just agree, be with them and make use of it.

lagi 5 tahun, nak PRU lagi, kita start kerja kita balik jadi pembangkang jika tidak memuaskan.

nak kesalkan, nak protest benda hat dah lepas buat apa? talk about here and now and future.

if we really say it's about Malaysia, we should know what we are doing right now. but if we talking about the party pride, yes that is us who keep protesting and dissatisfy with whatever around us right now.

think what in your mind right now? okay?

okbai!